Relationships

Serving Sex with a Side of Manners


Etiquette is not antiquated. If anything, serving your sex with a side of manners is more appetizing than any phallic or butt-like emoji out there.

As we said in our Roses and Romance article, courtship is more than just a courtesy. You can slide into the DMs all you want — but you won’t slide into anybody’s heart without displaying a shred of common decency.

There’s more to the art of relationship etiquette than simply holding a door for someone or putting your jacket over a puddle to prevent the splash from crashing into their ass.

Yes, these gestures are appreciated, but mean nothing when coupled with emotional immaturity.

What is Emotional Immaturity?

Emotional immaturity isn’t simply “acting childish.” It’s characterized by the inability to have thoughtful discussions about one another’s emotions, commitment issues, and an overall narcissistic mindset.

The Dos and Don’ts of Relationship Etiquette

  • DON’T make everything about you.
  • DO take your partner’s emotions into consideration. Strive to make your conversations inclusive. After all, you’re a team and it takes two to tango.
  • DON’T emotionally vomit on your partner 24/7. You should feel comfortable sharing your feelings, but if your conversations feel a whole lot like “ME ME ME AND ALL MY PROBLEMS” while they’re left nodding along and resisting the urge to roll their eyes, something’s very off.
  • DO share your perspective and ask them how they’re doing, too. Be attentive and display your best listening skills.
  • DO make conversation about other topics. Your partner isn’t your therapist. Ask them about their hobbies, send them articles or videos about the things they’re interested in. Bring a smile to their face instead of constantly shitting in it.
  • DON’T be crude. You should feel comfortable telling your partner anything — but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should tell them everything, like every.nitty.gritty.detail of your life. They don’t want to hear about your bowel movements any more than you want to wipe your ass after a bout of explosive, physically and emotionally exhausting diarrhea.
  • DO be polite. If you toot in front of your partner, giggle about it, spray some air freshener, and move on.
  • DO bring happiness into their daily routine by sending them photos of flowers and cute animals.
  • DON’T be a flake. If there’s a change of plans, aim to give them as much notice as possible.
  • DO plan activities both of you will enjoy often.
  • DON’T avoid talking about your future together.
  • DO engage in conversations about where you both hope to be within the next few years. Whether that entails purchasing a home together, starting a family, or sailing the seven seas, you should discuss what steps you hope to take together.
  • DON’T make all of their decisions for them. You’re not their mommy or daddy, regardless of whether they call you those pet names between the sheets.
  • DO respect their space and privacy. If they have papers all over their desk, ask before moving them around. If an important phone call comes through, take a message and have your partner call them back when they can.
  • DON’T be judgmental.
  • DO listen to them respectfully and offer practical, non-invasive input if/when they ask for it.
  • DON’T be stingy with your love.
  • DO kiss them every chance you get, hug them long, and surprise them with gifts often.

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