Relationships

Think Twice Before You F Up Your Life


The grundle and the ‘gina ain’t always sweeter on the other side. When you run around behind the back of your lover with another, you risk incarcerating yourself to a life-sentence of separation.

Thus, you outta think twice before you fuck up your life for the sake of getting fucked.

Fucking Till Your Fucked Over

Morals and ethics aside, let’s approach the matter from a purely selfish perspective: the consequences of cheating far outweigh any potential benefits.

  • Regardless of how slick, sly, or sneaky you think you are, it’s only a matter of time before you’re caught cum-handed
  • If both parties are unaware that you’re a two-timer, you could lose both lovers
  • Once word gets out that you’re a cheater, it significantly thins out the herd of local individuals who would be attracted to you for a long-term relationship
  • No one ever has sympathy for the cheater
  • If you’re irresponsible and refuse to engage in safe sex, your rendezvous may result in a few kids. More kids = more bills and more child support
  • You may also end up with a few STDs that you’ll have to sport like badges of dishonor. Way to go, sport!
  • If you’re married, infidelity may prompt your spouse to divorce you. Not only could this be emotionally devastating, but it will be financially devastating, too. Be prepared to say goodbye to half of your paycheck, retirement, home, valuable assets, etc…

Again — it can’t be said enough — there’s a lot more for you to lose than gain simply because you couldn’t refrain from tapping some ass.

Worst of all, you can’t regain the trust you forfeit once you sleep with someone else. Sure, you could move somewhere else or meet someone online to avoid the toll it’s taken on your reputation. Yes, you could do side-work to budget it in the added expenses of alimony and child support.

But you will never regain that trust, regardless of how much communicating or therapy you go through with your partner to rebuild that foundation.

Every time you come home late, your spouse and your children will wonder, Was it really work-related, or were they furiously pegging someone else this evening?

When you can’t make it home in time to sit down for dinner, there’ll forever be a voice in the back of their mind(s) saying you were probably out sitting on someone else’s dick.

As we had mentioned last week, open relationships can work for some. But it requires consent on behalf of both parties and clear, abundant communication.

Sneaking around and cheating is also a sure-fire way to shatter your intimacy. How do you expect your partner to kiss you — let alone suck you off — if they don’t know where your lips and your body have been?

You’ve Been Caught Cheating. Now What?

If it’s already over Johnny, it’s time to get prepared for what’s to come.

First and Foremost, Be Honest

Attempting to shovel shot glasses of water out of a sinking ship is futile. Lying won’t get you anywhere at this point; in fact, it’ll just make things much, much worse.

Be honest. The more you lie, the less likely it is that you’ll ever be even remotely forgiven. Plus, it’s easier to tell the truth than it is to have to keep up with all your fibbing when you’re already living a double-life.

It’s worth noting that your partner will probably remain highly-suspicious of anything you say or do for quite some time after, too. And hey, they’re entitled to their suspicions. Cheating is one of the most hurtful and downright repulsive things you could ever do to someone.

Needless to say, it’s pretty hard to come back from being a no-good, unfaithful, double-anus-dipping, dirty-dick-tipped, crusty-pussy-lipped, stank ass ignoramus-imbecile.

Talk it Out

Get ready for the most intensive, FBI-style interrogation of your entire life. And get ready to own up to all of it. The relationship is now on death row. As a result, everything you say can and will be held against you.

Respect Your Partner

You’ve already disrespected them enough, it’s time to finally show them some common decency. Give your partner space to process everything and don’t try to rush through to the resolution.

If they want you to get your dirty dong out of the house, then you best believe it’s time to pack up your shit and leave. Why don’t you go stay at your side chick’s home? See how long it lasts once you have to live together.

Shut Your Legs and Shut Your Lips

While it should be inherently obvious, once you’ve been caught it’s time to stop. Don’t continue pursuing other people after you’ve been busted. Slow your rolling in the hay!

It’s also wise to keep your mouth shut. Adultery is embarrassing for both the person you’ve cheated on and you. Yes, you. Everything about it is messy and confusing. Now is certainly not the time to air out your dirty laundry all around town.

If you need to talk about it to anyone, it should be your partner. If you really need an outsider’s perspective, then go to a couple’s counselor, not the nearest bachelor.

In Conclusion

Cheating is a stab in the back and lying only twists the knife further. Once you’ve stepped in the dog shit that is another person’s genitals, you’ve either got to salvage the shoe or throw it out.

To prevent yourself from fucking up your life for the sake of fucking, invest in some sex toys. There’s endless power in self-pleasure, from dildos to dolls. All you have to do is pick your poison.


Head on over to Chic Sex Shop to satisfy your inner lustrous desires.
Whether you’re looking for vibrators or anal beads, we’re here to help you beat your meat like a dog in heat!

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